Hmmm...

     Most everything I did this week, at least the things that I can remember that were worth noting, are a surprise for one of my readers. So, I don't have much of a blog post. I do have a picture and a video though, and maybe a story or 2 (have to check my journal).

 

Jessica found one of those monkeys that you can shoot across the room, and they scream when they hit something. Jacob got it, and while I was trying to get a picture of him eating the head, it didn't quite work. You can still see that Jacob was attacking it though. ;)

 

Jacob was making some hilarious noises while gnawing on this toy, so I thought I’d share them with you.

     And now for the stories: On Sunday last week, I came to get Jessica out of time-out, and she had a doll by the hand in each hand, and was turning in circles singing "ashes, ashes, they all fall down". Very cute. I can tell what they played in her church class last week. 

     On Wednesday, we were at my Mom's (as usual), and Bill and Rob (my brothers) came over for lunch. They came in through the garage, and when the door opened Jessica shouted "Grandpah-uncle Billy". So cute. She was obviously expecting Grandpa, but was excited to see Uncle Billy too. 

     And the best one was Saturday morning. Friday night Jessica had a rough time sleeping, and so when Nathaniel went to bed (at 1am) he put the gate up to keep her in her room, and left the light on because she begged for it. I woke up around 3 to her rattling the gate, so I went to investigate. "I'm done".  "No Jessica, its still bedtime, go back to bed. She headed back to her room, so I went back to my bed. 1 hour later, at 4am, I woke up to her asking me to get "Enchanted" out of its case. I woke up very quickly, and took her out of our room (so as not to wake Jacob and Nathaniel) to find what else she'd done. She'd taken down the gate and put it back where we usually have it. Then I noticed that she'd turned on the TV and the DVD player, taken out the "Backyardigans" DVD and put it away correctly. (in the case that was on the printer on the back corner of my desk) I turned everything off, and put things back, and got her back in bed, after changing her bum. I also brought her music back for her to listen to, to help her fall asleep. I turned it on, and it was a different CD. So I fixed that, and then shut her door. She slept (or at least was quiet) for the next 4 hours. I was then able to piece together what probably happened.

     She probably never went back to sleep at 3. She took down the gate, came out, and decide to listen to her music, but she didn't want the sleep-time music. SO she plugged in the CD player, and switched the CDs (which were also on my desk), but she couldn't get it to play, because the side switch was off, so pushing "play" didn't work. My bet is that she then went and watched one of the "Backyardigans" episodes, since that was already in the DVD player, but that's just a guess. Then she put that one back, and was trying to watch Enchanted, but the DVD case of that one has the little extra lock tabs, so she couldn't open it. Otherwise, I bed I'd have woken up to it being on. Hilarious after the fact. Not so hilarious at 4am.

1-2-3 Magic

    Not a whole lot was done this past week. It was pretty rough. I'd been having major issues with Jessica, to the point where most days I'd be yelling and screaming by the time it was 9am. (and its been like this for more than just a week) I was at my wits end, and didn't have any idea what to do for discipline, because the time outs, and getting down on her level to talk to her, and being consistent, and trying to give her more one-on-one time, and taking away toys/privileges wasn't working at all.  I am very ashamed that I was acting like that toward my 2-year-old, and each day I would try to be better, but nothing was getting better. It was as though she enjoyed getting me to yell and scream. I knew our method wasn't working, but the only other thing I really knew to try was spanking, and to me, for me, I consider that abuse (though I'm not going to judge someone else, or assume to know how they should parent their children) So, as a good portion of you know, I sent a shout out on Facebook for some help.
    I had 2 people suggest a book/method called 1-2-3 magic, so I decided to at least read the book. I thought it made sense, but also, with where we were, I figured it couldn't hurt to try. The basic premise is that most parents think of their kids as "little adults" and therefore try to explain why they shouldn't do... whatever. So they sit there and talk to their child and try to explain, and often end up in the "talk-explain-persuade-argue-yell-(and sometimes) hit syndrome". (Where the parents go through those stages each time they try to talk to/discipline their child, possibly excluding the 'hit' stage) The likelihood of getting your child to suddenly look at you with a light in their eyes and say "Oh, I understand now Mommy, thank you for telling me, I won't ever hit my sister/brother again" is pretty much non-existent. Plus, the yelling/hitting stage is generally just the parents having a tantrum. Let's not have 2 tantrums at the same time. ;) Most things the kids do that you get after them for are not new things, they know they shouldn't do them. (i.e. the hitting example) So the rules for the 1-2-3 magic are "No talking, No emotion". They do something you need to stop, you say "That's 1". Very calmly, and no more words. If it continues (or a new activity, but still something that needs to stop) "That's 2". (no emotion, no more words) and then "That's 3, take 5". The take 5 is their timeout. It is a number of minutes equal to their age. (So for Jessica we say take 2) If you have to, walk them back to their timeout place, or even drag them if you must. When they are done, they're done. Still no talking about it. They know that they did something wrong, and could probably tell you if you asked, but you shouldn't. The biggest thing is that you got them away from the situation, and you did so calmly. It made sense to me (and obviously the book explained it better) so we implemented it on Monday.
     Jessica turned out to be an immediate tester. That means that she didn't like the change, and so was trying to get us to change back, by getting worse to start with. However, with the not trying to explain, and the focus on no emotion, I was not yelling and screaming by 9. I often felt like blowing my lid by the end of the day, but for 1, that's a lot later in the day; and 2, I didn't yell at my 2-year-old who really doesn't deserve it, even if she knows what she did was wrong. So, even though she was getting worse to start with, it worked really well as a parental discipline book. ;) Then I noticed something. Jessica started going on her own to her room for her "Take 2". Then, she started listening, and changing what she was doing at "That's 1" or "That's 2". And now, I notice that I don't have to count as often. One week in, and we're seeing an improvement. I am tentatively very hopeful.
    There is also a section in the book on getting them to start doing things you ask, because the counting won't work as well for that, but it suggests having the "stop behavior" somewhat under control before starting in on that. I am so very thankful to Monica and Oscar for both suggesting this book. Now, when I get headaches, they're from dehydration/heat/lack of sleep, and not from yelling and crying.
     Unfortunately, the change in discipline structure seemed to have a negative side effect on the potty training. Jessica was no longer going in the potty at all. Every time it was in her underwear, so we switched her back to diapers for a few days, and are starting again now.
And now for some pictures:

 

Jacob has become very fascinated by his toes. He always has his feet up so he can look at them, and often he is grabbing them and trying to eat them as well. That's what I was trying to capture, but a shot of those baby toes is cute too. 

 

And I just can't resist taking pictures of sleeping babies. SO ADORABLE!

 

We also went to the park on Friday. I'd finally gotten myself enough under control that I wasn't feeling totally overwhelmed, so I was able to leave my house for something other than errands. Jessica just loves the swings. Unfortunately, she broke those adorable sunglasses on Saturday :(